March 31, 2017

Letters to my son – II

Filed under: Life as I know it — Celia Rexselin @ 10:35 am

Baby, in my earlier letter I covered till Proverbs 31: 14.  In this letter, I will try and cover the rest.

15: She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants.

You know, I also get up even before sun light. The maid who does cleaning and mopping doesn’t come till night and hence in the morning before I leave to work, I ensure that I at least complete cooking and provide food. But I don’t sleep that early at night and I am aware that I am doing an injustice to my body. Son, don’t treat yourself and your companion this way. I want you to go to sleep early and wake up early in the morning. Find yourself a work that will respect your biological clock. You both can partner and while you are helping at one chore, she can concentrate on another.

16: She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.

I do wish to buy a plot for you and your father after I close off the flat loan. Son, put your earnings to good use and invest it for you and your family. By saying this, you will sense that am detaching myself from your immediate family. I am sure am your extended family after your are married. I know that you will love me nevertheless as you do love me now but ensure that you care for your own safety first.

17: She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks

This is one verse which motivated me from my child hood. I never said NO to lifting weights or hard chore tasks but sure am facing some consequences of pain now but never mind I would like you and your companion to be lovers of hard work. Whatever you do, do it with all your heart and passion. You will succeed. This verse is not just for her but for you both.

18: She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night.

This can seem like an over-expectation. How can one not sleep at night and wake up early. Probably one does go to sleep. Only when you sleep, your body repairs and rejuvenates itself. So, try to maintain 8 hours of beauty sleep.

19: In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers.

This hints at a hobby of the woman and I would like both of you to have a hobby too independent of each other so that you both don’t hit boredom. Try excelling in sports, play or anything that you may seem noble. You know that’s why I have enrolled you in music. I very well know that you are not that much into it now but over a point, you will come to like or even love it.

20: She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.

My son, watch out for this behavior. If the woman of the house is stingy towards poor and doesn’t care for the down-ridden, then probably she will never be towards you also. Let her appreciate the fruits of hard work and then pass on the fruit only to the needy. The same goes to you. Please ensure that you give a good portion to people suffering around you. You don’t have to send something overseas which you can’t see.

21: When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. 

How I love this woman. All of the people at home are well clothed royally. Son, I try my best to dress you well. Sometimes money is hard and I try comparing with what I have to what I can afford. Dress well Son and Dear Lady. When I see you probably 20 years from now or I may not live tthat long, I wish you dress really well and look good and pretty.

22: She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple.

Son, this is for you. Ensure you water your own vine (companion) well. I want her dressed in fine clothes and jewelry so that when people look at her, they’ll know that she is taken care of by a person who loves her very much.

23: Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.

Do you think just because the noble woman does all this, her husband is respected at the city gate? NO. He is a man of noble deeds and has earned his respect. For you to reach this stage, you would need to serve first and learn to be humble. Never oppress anyone. Don’t hit anyone. God will ensure that you will be respected at the end.

24, 25: She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes. She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.

This verse, dear Son and Daughter is for both of you. While you are hard at business, do dress with strength and dignity. People who see you should admire you for your choices and not talk behind your back. Your body assets are for you both and are not meant to be public display. If I say this when am over 50, you may ridicule me as an old lady and hence am saying this when I am still in my thirties. Dear daughter, it is good to have your own hobby or business or whatever you think as would be useful to you. This is not because am after money, this is because I want you to feel the satisfaction of hard work and the fact that you can help others. But don’t do just for the sake of me.  If I am alive until then, I will get you the support system which I didn’t get while raising my son. If not and you don’t have the support system, do what you feel.

26: She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

At times, the christian world also says that men shouldn’t listen to their wives but if you see here, the wife speaks with wisdom and instruction that is faithful. In whatever you both do, do what you think is best for your family and don’t give heed to others outside your trusted circle. Friends, relatives and everyone else come outside and they should never take priority over both of you.

27: She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.

This is one verse which I ponder for a long time. The lady of the house is at house and is not idle. This I am trying very hard son and you know how much I slog from early morning till night. But I want you both to be moderate and not slog like me. In my case, I am a nobody with no address and hence have to put in effort so that you can have an address. I sincerely hope that you both will have your own address and hence will only need to build additional fortune while we last in this material world. So, don’t be too hard and be moderate. Even if it comes to cooking, it is best to have simple home cooked food than eat stale and processed food.

28: Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: 29 “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.”

You know son, there is nothing that feels great for a woman than her husband loving, cherishing and praising her. She will reach great heights for him just for this. Be together and build the family and never ever stay apart for financial or domestic reasons.

30, 31: Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
    and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

I hope you realize these last two verses my son and daughter. The world is cunning enough. Foxes are out there to exploit whatever you have and ground you, so, I really need you to have the right support. Charm is really deceptive. Never look at money or looks. That’s fleeting. And if you really find a good woman, never ever hurt her. If her spirit dies within her, you won’t be able to get it back when you need her the most.


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