April 18, 2006

Sons and Daughters!!!

Filed under: Life as I know it — Celia Rexselin @ 6:59 am

Few months back….

We were laughing over a particular blogger’s attitude.. Usually his blog speaks about “I” and “I” only. But on that day, for a change, that guy had blogged about one of his daughters. Seeing that, my colleague suddenly said..

C1: This guy has two daughters.
C2: Yeah, And he deserves it..

Last Saturday….

Mom: They are going to admit Veni’s sister in law in the hospital.
Me: When are they going to do the operation?
Mom: Perhaps, tomorrow.. This time they are praying for a male child. Whether its male or not, they’ll do family planning operation also this time.
Me: Oh!!

Veni is my neighbour and her sister in law already has two young daughters, each of age 4 and 2 (Sindhu and Indhu). My mom continued saying, When I prayed for a male child, I got one. Then I prayed for a female child, I got that too... Wasn’t able to comprehend what mother was saying.. I was already sick of the fact that female childs are not that welcome in families as they are publicised in media. All that goes well only in news or in pattimandapam..

The day started of on a bad note for me. With my mother’s words getting lost in my ears… I proceeded to get ready. I pressed my clothes, put my bath items in the bathroom and went outside to get my towel. When I came back, I saw that my elder brother had already gone into the bathroom. And I yelled after him, saying “Why did you go in, now? See all my clothes are inside“. It fell on deaf ears.. My mother came out saying, “Why can’t you adjust?“…
Well, am not exaggerating. This is a daily happening on a girls life.. Am not saying that my parents don’t love me as they do their sons. Infact, they spend more for me.. Whenever my mother goes out, she makes it a point to atleast buy some flowers since am fond of it. But as for other matters, its not the same.

Ma, Can I do higher studies?
Why are you disturbing me when am studying or when am concentrating on my work?
Because, you would have to learn everything else too, dear. What will your inlaws say if they see that
you don’t know cooking? They’ll curse me.
Ma, I am not born just to get married. Marriage is just a part of one’s life. Its not life by itself..

But would anyone understand? Everyone thinks that sons are a major investment and daughters are liabilities.. There have been times when I thought that I should have been born as a boy instead of a girl..  And last saturday, the feeling was more higher than anyother times..

The day went on usual.. with my colleagues and work and french class (Btw, Jagan, I passed!!. ). And in the evening I proceeded to leave office and got down from the building. All I could see was a huge procession. Some AIADMK members were going out and it was interrupting the traffic. I managed to struggle towards the autostand there and saw two ladies, one elderly and one middle aged speaking to the autowallah. I saw that the middle aged woman also wanted to go the park station. I spoke to the autowallah and we both got into the auto. As we were nearing park, She asked me where I was going.. I said that I have to go to Velachery and usually I would go to guindy and take an auto from there. She replied saying that she also has to go till Guindy and her husband would be waiting for her..

Mostly, am not the type who would encourage conversations with strangers.. But it always happens that my travels are accompanied by something interesting. Within no time, this lady felt very close.. she asked whether am a christian… ( I hadn’t told her my name also) and started saying about her alcoholic husband and two sons who were not studying properly.. and how she was struggling to make the ends meet for the family. I consoled her but didn’t offer any suggestions.. But rather, I was listening all the time.

Guindy came.. and she said, ” I have never spoken like this to anyone.. Hope I meet you next time also… And I wish I had a girl instead of a son. Girls are the ones who comfort us.“. This came as a shock to me!! And I realised one new thing that day!! Only girls can reach that close to a person’s heart and no son can ever compete in that arena!! Even God says ” I would comfort thee like a mother“. I somehow was very happy!!  Said Bye to her!! and left for home!!


Could hear lotta whispers from my neighbours place.. My mother went out and asked what happened…
They said, “Its Bindu..” and the delivery went well…

Joy to the world!! and I welcome little Bindu (Do you know that we both share the same name, little pie?) 



  1. two things just made me keep my eyes open here.

    1. the pen that you have in your page.

    2. your topic – scribble.

    Comment by vaishnav — April 18, 2006 @ 8:50 am | Reply

  2. Bindu….Seems that your train journey gives you the fodder for your blogs
    btw…its sheer coincidence that my next blog story that i was thinking is something similar to this….i havent penned it yet…
    but i was surprised to see that it seems so near to it….
    btw…try to get little Bindu’s pic 🙂

    Comment by hurry2harish — April 18, 2006 @ 3:21 pm | Reply

  3. Well, the so called female pref and all are limited to press and publicizing.. when it comes to homes.. its always ended in preferring to male child and girld child are mostly made to learn the sutff.. on kitchen and what not..!!!.. When the matter comes to listening to parents or helping them or talking them.. then girl childs are preferred otherwise boys..!! the bais has been always there.. do not know when it would end!!!…

    One of my-freind he is a wing-commander, he has 2 daughters. He was telling the advantage of having daughters is that they will listen to you… with their heart!!.. unlike boys who will do things without interest because of pressure..!!.. I called them as little missiles….:)!! and nother freind naval officer has 2 sons.. who i call as torpedos 🙂

    Comment by sujit — April 18, 2006 @ 6:07 pm | Reply

  4. in my house , what my sis says is the rule . Shes the elder one ……and i being the younger one , deserve to be pampered . but nothing of tht sort ever happens in my house . my sis is the darling of the house and my parents are okie with whtver she says . And I have also seen the same in my frds house . And it makes me believe tht girls are welcome in many indian families ..if not in all .

    and neways , congrats ..i guess u surprised urself by passing in the french exam 😉

    Comment by jaganpathra — April 19, 2006 @ 4:50 am | Reply

  5. @vaishnav- Thanks for the comment on the template and the topic 🙂

    @harish- Really? I would make it a point not to miss your post then. Bindu hasn’t yet come home yet.. Would try to get a pic once she’s home 🙂

    @Sujit- Yeah.. People like daughters for their caring nature.. Days are changing.. Lets see what this generation will do..

    @Jagan- Deserve to be pampered?? Adhaan already petted, and spoiled aaache!! innum enna pampering vendi kedakku? Ok. This is one question for you.. Say, God blesses you with three kids and gives you the choice of choosing the sex of the kid…

    What would you prefer?

    (Thanks!! I know.. I couldn’t believe that I passed)

    Comment by Bindu — April 19, 2006 @ 7:49 am | Reply

  6. Are you serious? at my house, my parents love my sister like anything, its always J want cant you adjust with your little sister da, she will be home with us only for a short time.. com on folks!!

    wow neat bindhu ah? I just hope she doesnt turn out to be another Vaiyadi like you 😉


    Comment by Nanyaar? — April 19, 2006 @ 1:59 pm | Reply

  7. god blesses me with 3 kids ? offer rejected ba …i had ask him to bless me with more girlfriends/wives 😉 …

    Comment by jaganpathra — April 20, 2006 @ 4:22 am | Reply

  8. @nanyaar- Me !! and Vaaayadi? Chi No.. what r u saying against a poor innocent silent female?

    @jaganpathra- Adapaaavi.. I hope your fiancee wud also be a blogger and I can show her this post..

    Comment by Bindu — April 20, 2006 @ 5:54 am | Reply

  9. small mistake in ur reply …its not “fiancee” .its “fianceeS” ..

    Comment by jaganpathra — April 20, 2006 @ 12:04 pm | Reply

  10. The gender discrimination is a fact of life.And it has nothing to do with affluence.The richest states Haryana and Punjab have the highest rates of female foeticide and skewed sex ratio.Among the middle class the discrimination is subtle but deeply entrenched and it is dangerous to extend our personal situations to the whole society.As we are getting more MODERN women have become a thing to be consumed.Modern educated advocates of Gender equality might have started with the idea that women should behave as men but can that be the end?

    Comment by vb — April 26, 2006 @ 7:23 am | Reply

  11. your blog is a gold mine of info, thx

    Comment by remeron — May 27, 2006 @ 5:19 pm | Reply

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